Somewhere... else.

[calmhrtprevails]

Fawkes had spent quite a lot of time working in Megaton, looking after his friend's household, her Brahmin, and her plot of slowly-greening plants outside the city walls. But she'd been missing a month and more now, and it was beginning to worry him. Best, he'd thought, to see if something had gone awry at Milliways.

And it had. For him.

The place he found himself instead of his intended destination was... some sort of forest. The trees were too thick all around him to be anything else. Their branches were leafless, weighed down by heavy winter snow. The snow on the ground would have come halfway up a human's leg, he thought. On him, it was only deep enough to get into his boots.

This would not do at all. This didn't appear to be the area behind the Bar. Perhaps he had better look for someone to identify where it was.

Comments

[nponyc]

"MONSTER!"
"A MONSTER'S COMING!"
"IT'S GONNA EAT US!"

Equine heads pop out of windows and doors as the three little ponies pass by screaming. Initially they seem irritated at the interruption, but their expressions quickly shift from annoyance to alarm as they spot the creature approaching the town. Shutters are slammed, children are pulled inside, and one pink pony even faints dead away on the spot. They even--gasp--take away the 'Welcome' mats.

[calmhrtprevails]

No! Not the Welcome mats!

Well, at least they're not shooting at him. Or throwing things at him. Or- he racks his brains for what else they might be doing- magicking him, maybe, or kicking him. Something like that.

He stops and cups his hands around his mouth to call out, "You don't need to do that, you know. I'm not going to hurt anybody. I'm just lost."

It may help, it may not, but it's better than just letting the screaming go on.

[nponyc]

They'd actually have to hear you over the screaming for that to be helpful.

Within seconds, the streets are completely deserted.

...except for a different pink pony who comes bouncing by, humming to herself without a care in the world.

[calmhrtprevails]

Ah! Perhaps this is a better opportunity.

"Excuse me," calls Fawkes politely. "I wonder if I could speak to you without you running away screaming?"

[nponyc]

"I dunno, probably!" she chirps. "I scream really good, though, you wanna see?" Before Fawkes can respond, she lets out an impressive high-pitched scream, complete with Home Alone hands-on-cheeks. It's slightly less impressive with hooves, but still.

[calmhrtprevails]

"It's a very impressive scream," Fawkes says after some time. "And very impressive lung capacity, too."

Seriously. She's got to stop sometime, right?

[nponyc]

Eventually, she does wind down and drop back to all fours, panting with exertion. "Whoof... gimmie a minute..."

[calmhrtprevails]

"Take your time," Fawkes says. "I appreciate the fact that you haven't run off."

[nponyc]

"*pant*--*wheeze*--okay." She looks up, pert and energetic again. "Hi! My name's Pinkie Pie. What's yours?"

[calmhrtprevails]

"My name's Fawkes," says Fawkes. "I don't suppose you happen to know a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, do you?"

[nponyc]

:D!

"Of course I do! She's one of my best friends in the whole wide world! I mean, she's super smart and organized and helpful and everything, what's not to like? Do you want to meet her? That's a silly question, of course you want to meet her, who wouldn't want to meet a super fantastically awesomely smart pony? Nobody, that's who. Come on--:

Somehow, Pinkie Pie has gotten behind Fawkes and is actually pushing him down the street.

[calmhrtprevails]

That's kind of impressive. How is she doing that? "I'm coming, I'm coming," Fawkes says, and tries to pick up the pace.

This will probably only cause Pinkie to push harder, won't it.

[nponyc]

How'd you guess?

Pinkie seems to be steering him toward a building made out of a massive, hollowed-out tree.

[calmhrtprevails]

"That," says Fawkes, "is beyond a doubt the largest tree I've ever seen. Is that her home?"

[nponyc]

"Uh-huh! It's also the town library," says Pinkie Pie. "She lives there and works as the town librarian! Kinda like how Apple Jack lives at Sweet Apple Acres and also works there, or like how I live at Sugar Cube Corner and work there too! The difference is, I work making lots of tasty treats, and Apple Jack works harvesting tasty treats. All Twilight has is books, and books aren't tasty at all, even cookbooks, and they look like they ought to be tasty, don't they? But no, they still just taste like paper! Somepony needs to invent a lickable cookbook, so you could find out what the recipes were supposed to taste like before you even made them! It'd be like scratch-and-sniff, only delicious!"

[calmhrtprevails]

"Ah, I see," says Fawkes. "I quite agree with you. Books don't taste very good at all, even when you're extremely hungry. They're far better to read."

He leans back on his heels a moment, the better to get a good look at the whole tree.

"I do wonder if just anyone is allowed to see this library. The... ponies... in the town seemed scared of me."

[nponyc]

"Oh, don't be silly, everypony is allowed to see the library!" Pinkie bounces past Fawkes and raps on the door with her forehoof.

[calmhrtprevails]

"I'll take you at your word," says Fawkes, and waits for the door to be answered.

[nponyc]

The one who answers it is, surprisingly, not a pony. Instead, it is a small reptilian biped, even smaller than the foals who ran from Fawkes earlier. "Oh, hi, Pinkie," he says (one assumes it's a he, at least; its voice sounds like that of a very young boy). "Twilight says you're not allowed to borrow any more cookbooks after you left teeth marks all over Fancy Feasts for Fillies."

"Oh, that's good! Because I'm not here to borrow a book," says Pinkie Pie. "I'm here to see Twilight! Well, not really. He's here to see Twilight, I'm just showing him the way, so I guess I get to see Twilight too!"

"'He'?" echoes the little reptile. "'He' who?" He peers further out the door, and his eyes go wide as dinner plates when he sees Fawkes. "M-m-m-m-MONSTER!" he cries, running back into the building as fast as his little legs will carry him.

...at least he left the door open?

[calmhrtprevails]

"Perhaps," Fawkes says as he watches the little reptile run away, "we ought to ask your friend if she has a book on how to disguise my appearance. It might make people less likely to run away."

[no_vampires_plz]

The little reptile's screams can be still be heard. "TWILIGHT! HEEEEEELP!"

"Spike, what's gotten into you?" That voice is familiar.

"There's a monster outside!"

"A what??"

"A monster! Like a gigantic green monkey! We gotta barricade the door!"

"Have you been reading those horror novels in bed again?"

"I'm serious, Twilight!"

[calmhrtprevails]

Fawkes would smile, if that face of his were capable. The best he can do is huff a laugh and call out, "He isn't entirely exaggerating.

[no_vampires_plz]

"It can talk??" Spike's voice shrieks from somewhere inside.

"Wait a minute. I know that voice..."

"Don't go down there! It'll get you! TWILIGHT!"

The sound of approaching hoofsteps, and then a familiar purple face peers out.

"...Fawkes??" Twilight boggles. "What are--how did you even get here??"

[calmhrtprevails]

Fawkes raises one enormous, thick-fingered hand in greeting. "It was an accident, I assure you," he says. "I'd meant to visit the place where we first met, and found myself instead in a forest full of snow. When I followed a trail, it led me here."

[no_vampires_plz]

"Well, don't just stand out there in the cold, come in, come in--" She beckons them in with a raised forehoof.